This Day in History

1989
The Soviet Union announced that the last of its troops had left Afghanistan after a fruitless, financially devastating and psychologically damaging 9-year occupation that would ultimately play a part in the superpower's demise several years later and serve as a lesson to would-be occupiers that even with sophisticated weaponry, superior training and billions and billions of dollars, military victory against an impassioned enemy practicing guerrilla warfare in rugged, mountainous, nearly uninhabitable terrain is virtually imposs- what? What is it? I'm kinda busy here…

Uh-huh…
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Really?? We are?
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Well now how long has this been going on?
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Almost NINE YEARS?! Motherffffffucker. *facepalm*

Today's Celebrity Birthday

Jane Seymour, actress ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"), turns 59. While not the prolific boner producer she was in her prime, she definitely makes the most convincing argument yet for the viability of a Maxim for Seniors spin-off publication.