The gist: "… a 2009 survey of the U.S. Catholic Church… showed the lowest numbers of child victims, allegations and financial payouts since 2004. It (the survey) shows 398 new victims came forward in 2009… down from 889 in 2004."
Hmmm…
"The U.S. Catholic Church: Now 56% Less Handsy!"**
Still not really a ringing endorsement is it? Not for nothing, but if given the choice, I'd rather leave my mythical child unattended in a trailer with a gang of meth'd-out carnies than at Sunday school.
**But probably not. According to the WP story, the survey was funded by the bishops. Buuut, at least it was conducted by independent researchers… … … whooo relied mostly on data supplied by the church yaddayaddayadda.
"Nuhnuhnuhnooo! It's not what it looks like… I swear!"
Posts
3 comments:
I'd MUCH rather leave my kids with the carnies. At least carnies have marketable skills: jerry-rigging, traveling on a budget, persuasive salesmanship...
I'd vastly prefer my kids learn THESE things rather than what they'd learn from Ratzinger. Namely: adhering to ridiculous and obsolete superstitions, lying to Africans about condoms, wearing dresses and funny hats un-ironically, and Latin.
And that's to say nothing of "Concealing The Shameful Pasts of Yourself and Others." I mean, to be fair, Il Papa "Eggs" Benedict may not have sexually-abused anyone directly (even though he sure did smooth over and re-assign the dudes who did)...he was just a Nazi. Which, y'know...is pretty much the only thing you can have on your résumé WORSE than "child-molesting fuck."
Three cheers for the Catholic church, in any case.
Carnies, for sure.
I feel like if there is ever going to be a zombie overtake the mutant disease will come from carnies. This is a tough decision.
On the one hand I could leave my "children" with some touchy-feely Michael Jackson clergy man, cause them emotional scarring for life. Or I could possibly expose them to a mutant disease thus turning them into a zombie and forcing me to kill them. hmmmmmm what to do, what to do?
Post a Comment