Today in Inappropriate Toys

Nope. Nosiree, Bob. I don't see anything at all wrong with this. Anyone who can look at this and see anything at all except a perfectly innocent childrens' plaything? Frankly, those people are sickos, and I want nothing to do with them.


Let me reiterate: that glistening, pink, invitingly beckoning "rosebud" aperture on the right is in NO way meant to be a simulacrum of the initial stop on the mid-town lady-tunnel. No. Nein. Uh-uh. Those ruffled, parted, suggestively moist petals are NOT labia, despite what your Rorschach gland may be telling you. Any rumors to the contrary are totally false. It is JUST A TOY, and doesn't represent anything. Much in the same way that this fucking thing is nothing more than what it appears to be.

Honestly, you do sort of wonder how these things make it out of concept...much less past prototype and to market. You have to think that the Chinese folks on the line where these things get put together are wondering: "What's the rationale behind the tiny faerie homunculus next to the giant, yawning vulva? Is she supposed to go IN there? If so, why? And furthermore, what's the significance of the little disembodied testicle on the left? What does it all mean?" It's no wonder Western culture confuses so many people who aren't from here.

That said, I do kinda dig the clit piercing.