Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Your Headlines for Tuesday, March 30th















Crime:













Former "Dating Game" Contestant Rodney Alcala Receives Death Sentence for 1977-'79 Murders of Five Women

Self-described "hopeless romantic" enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and the tortured, drawn-out death rattles of the slowly-strangled

Entertainment:















Levi Johnston Reportedly Shopping New Reality Series

While proposed content of the program is unclear as of press time, Sarah Palin has spent all day impotently railing against it on her Facebook and Twitter pages

Science:










Large Hadron Collider Comes Back Online at Switzerland's CERN Physics Lab

"We all gon' die!" opines Butch McKeester, noted rural Kentucky particle-physics expert (who also believes that Evolution and Climate Change are hoaxes, that President Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim, and that stem cells are extracted directly from the soft spots of babies torn screaming from their mothers' arms by gun-wielding government death squads)

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