College Basketball-
Local Man refuses to give up fruitless search for Women's Basketball Tournament Bracket to participate in.
Baseball-
Seattle Mariners OF Milton Bradley tries breaking out of two year hitting slump by placing 3rd in Grocery Store Home Run Derby.
Football-
Cleveland Browns sign 79 year old woman to shore up Defensive Line.
Soccer-
Spokesman/Model/Attention-whore/Soccer Player David Beckham ruptures Achilles tendon trying on wife's new Manolo pumps.
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